From Elation To Bitterness

Why is it that those you are closest with are typically the ones that hurt you the most?

It should not have been such a surprise to me. In fact, I was warned. By two different people in two different places. The first warning did come while I was at the church. I was an intern at the time but was about to become the interim youth pastor. See the man who had hired me was joining the Army. He was leaving to become a full-time pastor/Army Chaplain. It was his boyhood dream! And in one of our MANY late night discussions on ministry and life, he gave me a warning that at the time I did not or could not understand. "Nick, it is those who are closest to you, your best advocates, who you must watch out for." Watch out for? What on earth do you mean? "Those who are the loudest voice for you, often times turn into the loudest voice against you."

I thought he was crazy. Honestly. But for some reason I tucked the advice away and really paid it no attention. Until I heard it again. I was the Varsity Boys Basketball coach at a Christian school in town. The principal, who also happened to be the former basketball coach, was giving me some advice. It was my first gig. He had been coaching for decades. So when he spoke, I listened. And he said, "Your biggest friends can quickly become your biggest enemies." OK, OK, I get it. Well, obviously I didn't.

There are many details that need not be discussed here. So the short version will be enough.

In January, I had my 2nd meeting in 3 months with the chairman of the Personnel Committee. The first meeting was a chance for him to express some grumblings among parents in the youth group that I wasn't a great communicator. Without boring details, this can be said about my communication skills. Out of all the students in our group, only 2 or 3 EVER had an issue with not knowing what was going on. And, it was the same 2 or 3 every time. I even had kids whose parents attended other churches. And they were at every event, on time, knowledgeable about the event. So this made it quite easy to pinpoint who was doing the complaining (without coming directly to me). And honestly, after our first meeting I didn't give the issue much thought. This meeting was different. I could feel and sense the urgency in the meeting. We agreed that I would add several forms of communication to what was already taking place. Done deal, on we went.

And on we went to Germany. 29 people from our church halfway around the world. And back we came. And off to summer camp we went. And back we came.

Then the boy was born! July 6, 2008!

Then the storm came.

I was called into a meeting with the entire Personnel Committee. Several things were called into question about my "communication problem" as well as other "problems." Also on the docket, what was I teaching to the youth? Every question was answered with Scripture, which the Committee I must say was not prepared for. Every administrative concern was addressed and even discounted by parents on that very committee. To quote one parent in the meeting, "Sounds like a witch-hunt to me." And the hunt came to its conclusion in August. I resigned my position as youth pastor. I chose not to fight. I chose to leave myself some opportunity for future employment. It was far from perfect. But who can argue with God?

So I began my search for a new ministry position. And I searched. And I searched. But nothing was there. Then in September, I started getting emails and calls from friends in the area who had heard the "real" reason I resigned. Every call and email had the same 3 reasons. I didn't believe Jesus was God. I thought he was only a good teacher. And I thought that he was only a prophet. Seriously? I had never thought nor taught these things. I had never even considered them. But word was out and the decision about me leaving had its backing. I had fallen from grace and was now dabbling in heresy. Even joining a church-plant at a local church as their youth pastor couldn't save me now. I was out. And I was mad...